I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
