Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
