you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
