i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize