she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
