Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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