I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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