Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize