so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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