you guys were way drunker than both of me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
