you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
