Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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