he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
