so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
