I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
