Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
