My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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