I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
