I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
