Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
