Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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