I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
