I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
