When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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