Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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