Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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