drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have fence marks all over my body
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize