he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
