Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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