I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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