quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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