alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
