I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
