so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
