As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
