you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
