their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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