I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
