So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize