whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
