You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I showed him my bush... on skype.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
