its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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