you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
