More tranny stories later!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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