i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
