Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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