Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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