Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
