At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
