Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
