i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
