He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
