I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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