According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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