I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He felt like a one man threesome
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize