I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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