I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
