He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
