I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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