he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
organizing the empties. That sober.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
