I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Someone signed my nipple.
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