I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
