you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ketchup is God's man juice
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
