I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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